Sophia So, listening to yours, the first thing that pops into my mind is how very musical you manage to sound.
Thank you so much!
Sophia A few tiny "nitpicks": you might want to make some passages breathe even more. You do tend to rush some of the longer notes (more than likely to do with nerves, a desire to get it over with), and I think it would sound infinitely nicer still if you wait just a hair longer. Notable places: 0:10, 0:33, 1:12 and 1:32.
Really appreciate the thoughtful feedback here as well!
In my mind, when I hear the song, it's fly-y-y if that makes sense. Frankly, I don't think the idea of it was wrong, it was purely a failure of execution on my part. I may have needed a lighter and smoother touch rather going all marching band on it (to borrow your term!).